Modern Romance - Book Report






Modern Romance is interesting, but even more so within the context of new media. Perhaps the most applicable concept would be platform. According to the book, dating and other romantic interactions have been revolutionized via mobile phones and the Internet. For example, the book’s authors talk about how in Qatar, where an extremely conservative dating culture exists; the Internet has changed how young singles are able to meet each other. Normally, all interactions prior to marriage must be supervised and selected by parents or other authority figures. With communication apps like Instagram or Whatsapp and dating apps like Tinder, singles in Qatar are able to have a private space to get to know each other. The platform here is essential, because it allows interactions to be individual and separate from the traditional supervised interactions.
 However, the authors of the book also note that digital interactions via cell phones often allow people (most normally men) to act in a different way than they would in person. Ansari and Kleinberg (the authors) say that many people develop a “phone self”, or separate personality type. This leads to things like unsolicited sexual photos or repeatedly messaging “hey” or something similar without getting a response. As Ansari points out, you wouldn’t go up to a person in public with a similar approach. The platform (specifically mobile phones, though the book does mention traditional websites like match.com) is successful because it allows for anytime, anywhere interaction. Most people only spend a few minutes at a time on apps like tinder, but are able to able to receive notifications, like messages or matches at any time. This is attractive to people who have been conditioned to expect instant gratification and other game-like interactions with their phone. 
            The Internet, not just the mobile phone, also opens up more options for single people. The book goes through the positives and negatives of this. It does allow for people to meet someone they have a very real connection with, but can also lead to too many dates and not as many personal connections. This matches my personal experience with online dating. It’s a great way to meet people, but it does leave you wondering on occasion. Infinite possibilities have their limits, as ironic as it sounds. Still, none of this would be possible without the platform that they apps begin on. 
Also important to the ideas in Modern Romance is that of aesthetic. How one presents themself on social media and dating apps is becoming increasingly more important. For example, a study conducted by an associate of the authors shows that women who display “straightforward selfies, shot down from a high angle with a slightly coy look” attain more matches than women who do not have similar pictures on their profiles. Similarly, in a study based in Japan, people did not appreciate selfies or even individual photos on dating profiles. Those surveyed said that photos like this made people seem conceited or even narcissistic. Instead, the Japanese tend to post large group photos or pictures of animals. One person even put a rice cooker as his profile picture. It’s clear that aesthetic is relative, but important, in these cases. 
            Messaging and the way people message is another clear form of the aesthetic concept in this book.  Messaging via apps is the first contact that potential romantic partners have. Therefore, most dating app users believe the way someone presents themself in messages is very important. In fact, there were instances of people breaking off contact with potential partners whose messages were unattractive, meaning that they said something stupid or used especially bad grammar. The quantity of messages is also important to the aesthetic of the person. Some prefer to message for a while, so they can get a sense of the person before they meet them, especially in the name of safety. Ansari, however, recommends that messaging prior to meeting be kept to a minimum, as it’s more of a representation of a person than it is the real person. Exchanging a few messages is common practice, but you shouldn’t focus on that aesthetic too much before you meet them in person. As far as my experience goes, this is good advice. Messaging prior to meeting is a good way to get a feel for the person’s personal aesthetic, but it’s not always the best gage. The concept of aesthetic probably shouldn’t be used to judge a potential romantic partner in the first place, especially since personality can be a large part of physical attraction.
Modern Romanceis fascinating on its own, but is enhanced when looked at through a new media lense. Online dating is predicated to become increasingly popular, and the better we understand it, the better off we’ll be. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Twine Poetry

Play "The Shark" here. Artist's Statement             I picked this poem because it used to scare me. My dad had it memorized and he would occasionally perform a dramatic recitation that included and ominous voice and him grabbing somebody at the end of the poem. The goal of this project is to replicate how I felt listening to this poem as a child.              Twine is a great medium for presenting rhythmic poems like this one. The positioning of the words is intended to mimic the way my father would speak them, as well as the potential tone. Words that are lower on the page reflect a lower tone. The words that are linked were also chosen intentionally. The main linked word on each page is usually the most threatening of the line. The linked word tends to linger in the mind of the audience, creating the intended unsettling feeling. The selection of the...
Read more

Music Mosaic

Image
Artist’s Statement             I often wonder if art really means anything at all. Sometimes, as in the Dada movement, it doesn’t. Sometimes it does; see anything by Leonardo Da Vinci or Jordan Peele. But, more often then not, I think art walks a fine line between nothing and something. I found this to be especially true as I worked through this project. Inspired by Mozart’s Serenade No. 13 in G Major, these painting are simple and abstract. I intentionally chose a classical song that would be familiar to most, because I was curious about what the song would mean to me if I tried to make some meaning out of it, instead of casually listening. I had some feint memories associated with the song that I consciously subverted. I encourage viewers of the art do to the same. As I heard the string instruments play each bubbly note, I noticed that the song was upbeat, but felt perfectly in order. Not...
Read more

Textual Poaching: GC x BC

General Conference x Broad City See the Remix Here Artist's Statement             I identify as a Latter-Day Saint woman. For the most part, I’m proud of this. However, I find that this identity can conflict with ideals I’ve developed as a modern woman. I don’t view this as bad thing, but as something that’s interesting. In order to portray this, I chose to remix a talk from the October General Conference of 1979. This talk is an outlier because, though written by then President of the Church Spencer W. Kimball, it is delivered by his wife, as President Kimball was in the hospital at the time. As a Latter-Day Saint, it’s interesting to hear the words of a prophet come from the mouth of a woman. It’s not something that we see a lot in the church, and I think it adds to the talk, especially given the subject: the role of women. I like this talk because it’s fairly progressive and even more so given the time. I believe that if this talk were gi...
Read more